Art for Art's Sake
There was a time when everything I did needed to have a reason or a goal. My life had purpose. My training was for a race. My art filled a spot on the wall or a magazine. Upon the passing of a friend's father this past weekend, preceded by my own father's death three short months ago, I got to thinking about why I exist. Unable to come up with a good reason that could stir my resolve to live a better life, I decided instead that perhaps I need to start living for living's sake. Maybe I shouldn't waste any more time wondering and worrying about whether I make any impact in this world. Maybe I just need to live and be content with living, even if I don't know why I'm here.
I picked up photography again after Dad died. I've loved it for a while, but in the past I stopped short every time I needed to invest more into equipment or time to improve. This time, I'm all in. I'm taking a photography class, shooting more, and buying better equipment. It costs a lot, which makes me wonder all the time whether it's worth it. I couldn't justify the expenses at first, which made me look at ways to earn money back through photography. But that is a loaded field of talent and money, and I'm just not sure there's room for me. So, for now, I'm living for living's sake and doing art for art's sake. I like to think that I'm heeding the advice of Robert Louis Stevenson, as the words my sister chose for the cover of the program of my Dad's memorial service -- "Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant." I'm just planting seeds, and one day something will grow.
I picked up photography again after Dad died. I've loved it for a while, but in the past I stopped short every time I needed to invest more into equipment or time to improve. This time, I'm all in. I'm taking a photography class, shooting more, and buying better equipment. It costs a lot, which makes me wonder all the time whether it's worth it. I couldn't justify the expenses at first, which made me look at ways to earn money back through photography. But that is a loaded field of talent and money, and I'm just not sure there's room for me. So, for now, I'm living for living's sake and doing art for art's sake. I like to think that I'm heeding the advice of Robert Louis Stevenson, as the words my sister chose for the cover of the program of my Dad's memorial service -- "Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant." I'm just planting seeds, and one day something will grow.
