Tidying Up My Life
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| http://tidyingup.com/books/the-life-changing-magic-of-tidying-up-hc |
You may have heard of Marie Kondo's book "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up". I've skimmed it and think I have a pretty good idea for what she advocates. While I'm not completely persuaded by her exact method, I can see why she advises to tidy in the precise way she describes and have decided to employ some of her methods (or at least her logic) to tidy our apartment.
To back up a bit, I recently got married. Wedding planning was a bit intense, and only now have I had the chance to relax a little and return to some normalcy. While getting married is a big deal, it didn't feel like a major life change in many ways because I had already been with my now-husband for 5 years, and we had lived together for most of that time. One significant departure from the status quo, though, is changing my last name. This was a bigger, more emotional decision than I had anticipated, and I suspect it has to do with the passing of my Dad two years ago. My last name is from him, and it is the way I have identified myself for all of my life.
At first, I decided I would hyphenate my last name to keep some remnant of my former self and identity, but something still didn't feel quite right. From a practicality and efficiency standpoint, it really bummed me out writing out a hyphenated last name. After I thought more deeply about why it didn't feel right, though, I think I wanted to hyphenate because I didn't want to lose who I was/am and forget everyone and everything that was important to me when I was single. Then I thought about how illogical it is to believe that my name could control who I become; whether I hyphenate my last name or not, I am still me and can choose to remain the same or change as I please, no matter what my name is.
Just as I was processing these thoughts, or perhaps because I had been processing these thoughts, I stumbled upon the Kondo's book and the KonMari Method and decided to investigate. Going through the apartment yesterday, I realized that many of the things I had saved all these years, including letters from old boyfriends, keepsakes from high school, and uniforms from old basketball teams, reminded me of the past. While it's fun to reminisce, the memories are often accompanied by joy, if it was a fun experience, love given or received, or frustration or recognition that I am very different now and do different things now. I am a married woman living an incredible life surrounded by wonderful, loving people. There is nothing about holding on to material things that can preserve the people and particular time of my life -- they serve to remind me of the things that actually matter -- the love given and received. And I don't really think that I'll forget loved ones and important times in my life because I've gotten rid of physical things to remind me of them.
So out went countless bags of donated items and trash. Time will tell whether I will regret having thrown out the old, but I suspect that I'll be just fine. The apartment is starting to look emptier, and that's a good thing -- I see it as making physical, mental, and emotional space for a new season of life.
At first, I decided I would hyphenate my last name to keep some remnant of my former self and identity, but something still didn't feel quite right. From a practicality and efficiency standpoint, it really bummed me out writing out a hyphenated last name. After I thought more deeply about why it didn't feel right, though, I think I wanted to hyphenate because I didn't want to lose who I was/am and forget everyone and everything that was important to me when I was single. Then I thought about how illogical it is to believe that my name could control who I become; whether I hyphenate my last name or not, I am still me and can choose to remain the same or change as I please, no matter what my name is.
Just as I was processing these thoughts, or perhaps because I had been processing these thoughts, I stumbled upon the Kondo's book and the KonMari Method and decided to investigate. Going through the apartment yesterday, I realized that many of the things I had saved all these years, including letters from old boyfriends, keepsakes from high school, and uniforms from old basketball teams, reminded me of the past. While it's fun to reminisce, the memories are often accompanied by joy, if it was a fun experience, love given or received, or frustration or recognition that I am very different now and do different things now. I am a married woman living an incredible life surrounded by wonderful, loving people. There is nothing about holding on to material things that can preserve the people and particular time of my life -- they serve to remind me of the things that actually matter -- the love given and received. And I don't really think that I'll forget loved ones and important times in my life because I've gotten rid of physical things to remind me of them.
So out went countless bags of donated items and trash. Time will tell whether I will regret having thrown out the old, but I suspect that I'll be just fine. The apartment is starting to look emptier, and that's a good thing -- I see it as making physical, mental, and emotional space for a new season of life.
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